the sexual tension between me and killing myself <3_<3
Sometimes it's really hard to be soft and patient and kind when you're overstimulated and it makes you feel exceedingly violent.
I hate having bpd cause I have so much emotion that never goes away. Like I literally store it inside & then it usually comes out at an inappropriate time. Like right now I feel like I just want to cry & scream for weeks. But I’m alone in the dark crying & trying to control all this extra emotion. & if someone were to ask me what is wrong I can’t give one straight answer. It’s as if I am a sponge that just soaks up all emotions I feel & I have no idea what to do with it all.
Sometimes everything is boring. BPD causes emptiness and unfulfillment. And everything becomes boring. And everything I try to do I never finish. Nothing is fun. I just lay around empty and bored and alone.
I'm convinced that I'm unlovable. I'm always an experiment. I'm meant to be used by everyone. It's always about others, I'm just a tool to learn something new about yourself, to have fun. It's been like this since I can remember. I hate myself so much because of this. Why can't I be seen as person? Why?
this isn’t funny anymore. i need someone to be completely and utterly obsessed with me right now.
verliebterrdummkopf3 asked:
Hi. How r u doing right now?
hello :) i could be doing better, currently anxious but ill be okay.. how are you? <3