bpd does not look good on me
never had a depressive episode this bad before. it’s lasted a good two weeks.. and no one talks about the gross parts of depression like not showering for weeks, the smallest things like drinking water being impossible, not taking your meds because what’s the point. i’m tired of media acting like people like me are lazy.. we’re just suffering.
i think no matter how i am or who i am with i will never feel good enough. everyone always leaves me eventually, forgets about me, moves on to live happier lives without me. i feel like i have so much love to give but no one will ever love me back the same way. i will always be too crazy. too lazy. too distracted. too quiet. too loud. too annoying. too weird. it’s funny because the only reason i’m here is to not upset the people around me, but the people around me couldn’t care less whether i lived or died.
so what am i doing here?
How BPD effects me in day to day life
I struggle with managing any sort of emotions, I switch like a light switch. One second I'm happy and jumping around and the next I'm lying on the floor banging my head against things to hurt myself. I can go from neutral to angry in the blink of an eye. Any small event can trigger me.
getting to the point where i cuddle my pillow every night and pretending im spooning someone.