I think the most frustrating symptom with BPD is emotional impermanence. Sometimes it resets after a few days, sometimes it rests after a few hours, or even a few minutes.
It means I can’t hold on to the good. I need reminders and reassurances that people don’t hate me, that they’re still my friend, that they’re not leaving, that any silence does not mean they’ve abandoned me. And I can imagine having to repeat this over and over again does not feel good for them. It doesn’t feel good for me, either. I hate making the people I care about carry my emotional baggage.
I don’t have much advice for this one, except to say you’re not alone if you feel this way. Emotional impermanence is challenging and can put stress on relationships, but you’re not a monster, and this doesn’t inherently make you manipulative or toxic. It is navigable, it is manageable, and it’s not your fault.
