nightmare in disguise

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

life is pretty depressing for me, and its not even just my brain or my circumstance, its just that there is no point to me, for me, i see colors,, i feel love, i feel pain, i feel empathy, sympathy, but while i stare at things i cant help this hollow feeling hovering over me, who cares

actually bpd bpd problems bpd vent bpd actually borderline actually mentally ill bpd fp bpd shitposting bpd favorite person bpd mood i have given up i feel like i will never be okay and that’s something ill have to live with i will never get in an actual relationship because of how mentally fucked i am and that’s the worst thing i’ve ever realized because i just want someone to focus on so i can stop being so self destructive if i had someone to live for then it would make living kinda okay

because of you i second guess absolutely everything about myself. you taught me to fear being wrong, you taught me judgment, you taught me hatred and bitterness, you taught me wrong. mother its hard to escape this box you kept me in, but from your abuse i’ve taught myself how to live despite it all

toxic mother toxic mom abusive parents narc parents i’m not hating on narc ppl tho i swear actually bpd bpd problems bpd vent bpd actually borderline actually mentally ill bpd fp bpd shitposting bpd favorite person bpd mood narc someone recently referred to me as a narcissist enabler and i’ve never been so disgusted with myself and offended in my life i’m now in a crisis of how i’ve gotten this far to be pushed and abused around because i was too scared to put up a fight when i was little not anymore though and that’s where the bpd rage comes in when we argue i’m a whole new person when i rage it’s scary to see the aftermath because i can never control what happens my mom just fucking hates me and makes it known

you’re the only one who understands me, the day you leave me is the day i will never be the same again. you are the reason i’m alive and the thought of you leaving one day kills me painfully and slowly like a sharp blade across my neck. i’m wishing you were here to hold me and protect me from myself.. but you’re sleeping, i can only imagine your beautiful still face and stubbled cheeks that i adore. god you’re beautiful darling, please let me show you the love you deserve someday. i just want to make you love yourself like i love you.

actually bpd bpd problems bpd vent bpd actually borderline actually mentally ill bpd fp bpd shitposting bpd favorite person bpd mood bpd splitting bpd stuff fuck bpd bpd love favorite person beloved.txt bpd yandere actuallymentallyill actually depressed sorry this is a whole story now oops i’m in love with him and it’s not just that high school crush type love it’s the i want to be with you forever and marry you type love i’m in love obsessive love disorder

saying you use tumblr is like admitting you need therapy

actually bpd bpd problems bpd vent bpd actually borderline actually mentally ill bpd fp bpd shitposting bpd favorite person bpd mood stg i use this app more than anything else this blog is a mess tbh i’m sorry for this but like this is my vent blog idk y i’m trying to justify myself this bitch was made for the clusterfuck that is my content anyways yea if you use this app it’s a sign you need therapy

when u have bpd u get used to the feeling of always being unimportant to everyone but sometimes it just hurts so fucking bad like damn its actually not irrational thoughts its just the truth i wish i could base my worth on anything else instead of caring what people think so much

actually bpd bpd problems bpd vent bpd actually borderline actually mentally ill bpd fp bpd shitposting bpd favorite person bpd mood living with bpd living with borderline living with mental illness abandonment trauma these days ​my worth as a person is determined by how many people like my content on this little therapy app having tumblr for me is like a therapist cuz mine sucks

i wish success was measured on how much you slept and avoided social interactions, i wouldn’t be such a fucking loser if that were the case

actually bpd bpd problems bpd vent bpd actually borderline actually mentally ill bpd fp bpd shitposting bpd favorite person bpd mood chronic fatigue social anxiety i literally can’t function like a nt person it’s just not possible and i’ve hated nothing more than that i’m the only truly nd person that my friends know so sometimes they don’t get why some things are really hard for me i have come to the conclusion that my lil rat brain sucks