nightmare in disguise

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277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou
yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

My depression has gotten to the point where I don't even want anything anymore. I don't care if it gets better. I don't want to fall in love anymore. I don't want to go to school. I don't want to travel or shop or have fun. I just want it all to stop. It's too much I feel like I can't breathe. I'm so lonely, my friends don't care. I just want to stop existing. I think I'm going crazy. when did I become invisible? when did it all get so grey?

n030n3
n030n3

(Fuck) You, My Love


I love the way you disrespected me

A harsh bite

A snarl of a voice

I miss the way you call me stupid

Tear me down

Just to show me you hear me

The way you’d look at me with disgust

Just to prove you see me.

I felt like shit

But this is a new pain


Bring me the old wounds

The comfortable sadness

The familiar lull of a sleepy goodnight

With love and warmth but gone by the morning.

My pathetic friend

My unfortunate fellow

For I have nothing more to give

You take take take and now I’m empty and you’re angry I’m empty empty for you.

I did everything for you

But you bite me smite back

And I hated you for it but I’m missing you

Even if you hated me for it

And for who I am

Or who you thought I was

Or whatever you made up to stay mad at me

Why did you choose me, my dear?

Did you love me or just use me,

I’ll never know

Which is why it’s so goddamn hard

To (not) have this closure.

I love you love you why did you think I was so wrong

I know why but I want you to say it again

Say you need help

Say you’ll get it, my love

Please love yourself find kindness

So you’re finally kind to me

The one who will never stop loving you

Even if you stay a selfish bitch.

cptsd-thoughts
cptsd-thoughts

So many teachers that deal with children- kindergarten ones, elementary school ones, high school ones- think 'how do I get this child to cause me the least amount of inconvenience' and not 'how do I help this child reach their potential' or 'how do I create a genuine safe space for this child', and that's how we get traumatized, terrified, but well-behaved children praised by teachers for living in fear because that fear means they listen immediately, and they are quiet, and you can pretend they're just shy and sweet and not trying to avoid any shred of your disapproval in fear of expected repercussions, when that kind of blind obedience should be met with immediate concern for the well-being of that child.

madeinmadness
madeinmadness

"Why are you so cold-hearted?"

Oh I don't know, I think it might've been because you slapped me for crying. Or told me that I wasn't allowed to show specific emotions, like being upset, so I worked on making sure my face only showed 'appropriate' emotions. Might've even been when you insulted my appearance, intelligence, interests and treated like it was a joke so I had to numb all my feelings to cope.

But you know, complain about how you raised me to be I guess. I suppose an emotionless child is less useful when they don't know how to show concern for you and is avoiding you because of the anxiety you cause them.

melangedmess
melangedmess

my mom told me once she saw one of our neighbours beating their kid [girl, 10 i guess] with a stick and she stood quietly without crying, my mom told me how decent, well mannered she was and how i should learn from Her to not cry when they hit me (and my dad hits fucking hard even with only a hand or mostly hands).

Guess I'm sorry that you abusing me made me over-sensitive and not completely numb like you wanted me to be. A non-living object lying quietly as you continue to hit it over and over again.