healthy relationships <<< falling in love with someone whos stalked you for months and knows everything about you
I'm hopelessly devoted to you ♡
I really can’t imagine love without obsession. How can you love someone without wanting to spend every moment with them? Without wanting them to only be with you? Without wanting to know everything about them? Without wanting to follow them home? Without wanting to collect everything they touch? Without wanting to die with them? Without wanting to die for them?
I don’t know what to do with myself without him. I only exist for him. I’m his. When he’s not around all I can think about is him and the next time I’ll see him and the next time we’ll talk and his recent social media posts and the last things he said to me and how easy it would be to go to his house. He owns all of me, all of my body, all of my mind, and all of my thoughts ♡
I wish I didn’t feel rage when you don’t respond as fast as I want. I wish I wouldn’t feel abandoned by an exhange of text bubbles. I wish I didn’t obsess over what you do while you’re not answering. I wish I was fucking normal. My brain is killing me.
Something that confuses many people and confuses myself as well is how quickly my bpd can make me go from feeling the need to deflect attention to feeling the need to attention seek and vice versa. One second I’ll be so deep into a conversation about my problems and the shitty life ive lived and ill be literally SOBBING into someone’s chest and absorbing every ounce of comfort they’re willing to offer up. Then the next, I’ll be throwing out jokes to change the subject, or just starting a conversation about something else that has nothing to do with the previous topic. It’s confusing, even to myself.
i want to breathe you in, i want to feel every inch of you, i want to leave bite marks on your exposed flesh, i want to carve my name into your skin, i want to cut you open and truly feel your heart pressed against my own, i want people to know that you belong with me, i need you to understand that you are mine. you own my heart.