Self-isolation mode ✨activated✨
TW // ED , Fatspo
Fatspo is disgusting.
Every other month on my twitter timeline I see women notice that their pics got used for fatspo and it's heartbreaking.
Imagine thinking that you have the right to post other peoples bodies and call them things just for motivation. Believe it or not, some people (no matter what weight they are) love their bodies, have self-esteem and unlike us aren't mentally ill. People who post fatspo are the ones with the problems.
If you post fatspo or publicly shame someone for their weight in order to boost your own ED you are no better than the skinny girls who called you fat behind your back, you are no better than your family members who made comments on your eating habits and you are no better than the guys who asked you out as a dare because of your weight. Being skinny with an ugly personality is not cute. You're bullying.
as i’m eating chinese food i get to my fortune cookie and it says “no person is important enough to make you angry.” now see, i have bpd so yes- yes, everyone is.. everything and everyone makes me angry
i fucking love this man so much. i love his hair, his smile, his hugs- goddamn they leave me breathless. i love the way he smells, how he’s so patient with me even when i definitely don’t deserve it. the sparkle in his eyes when he talks about something he loves, the way he sees my flaws and still wants to stay, how strong he is- mentally and physically, when he cuddles with me, when he holds my hands, the way he sings to songs even when he’s definitely off key and has the rhythm wrong- which is crazy because i’m a theatre kid and it should annoy me but with him it’s the furthest thing from annoying. when he gives me song suggestions and we definitely don’t have the same music taste but i listen to them anyways because he thinks i’ll like them. he’s so goddamn pretty it makes me sad because he never believes me. most of all i hate that we’re only just friends. i fucking love him more than words can describe and we can only be friends and it fucking breaks my heart every day but i can’t stay away from him or feel different about him, i’ve tried. i hate the most that his puns and jokes are always so sexual but only as friends. the things i’d do to hope he’d eventually love me is the saddest part but i’d do anything for him to love me. i’ll change everything for him, more than i already do. i’d kill all of the people that give him problems, all the people that have broke his heart and put him through torture. i find them vile for hurting him like that, i could fucking never hurt such a beautiful soul. he’s so fucking beautiful, it hurts so much.
Can I be honest with you?
I seriously went to other people to ask how I should approach you. I don’t even know who I fucking am anymore. I’ve always been a “talk about it” or “if you wanna know, ask” kind of person. Blunt. Straight. To the point. But I’ve been so scared I might be pushing you away, so petrified by the idea that I might come on too strong, that I started playing all these silly little games. I fucking hate staring at my phone wanting nothing more than to talk to you, but holding back because “it hasn’t been a whole day yet” or because I’m “waiting for you to text first.” Fuck. That. I like you; maybe a little more than I’d like to admit. I want to go out and experience new things with you. See you smile and laugh while we make stupid little jokes to each other. I want to learn what makes you tick. What your deepest fears are. What your biggest passions are. I want to prove to you that you mean more to me than just some repository for attention. If that scares you away, then fine. If you don’t feel comfortable with that yet, that’s okay. I can’t force you to like me. But at least I’ll be able to sleep at night knowing that I put my best foot forward. That I wore my heart on my sleeve, and no one had to guess how I feel. I’m done playing these stupid fucking games.
(J)
