Anyone else feel like they’re just procrastinating their suicide
Were any of our moms decent people or is this just all of us
Saying no one can help me but myself is just telling me it's hopeless. I wouldn't be asking for help if I hadn't already tried every damn thing I could think of.
i hate this i hate this i hate this there’s always someone else you’ll always have someone that means more i mean nothing to you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate that i have no rational reasons to be upset and i hate that nothing is ever going to change it because this is how my brain is i can’t do this anymore i hate this
having bpd caused by csa trauma is so hard to come to terms with for me lol. i constantly think about who i could’ve been without the things that happened to me. i mourn the person i could have been, the life i would’ve lived, the experiences i lost. having csa trauma is so bad because the effects never stop. i honestly feel like the older i get, the more i realize how badly it messed up and all the things that i am now that were caused from things that happened when i was 5 years old. i hate that i never even really got a chance to try to get something else. i just had to adapt with the trauma and now it feels like a part of my soul. i don’t know how to exist in ways that aren’t wrapped up in my trauma. i don’t even have a personality because they took it from me before i could even try. it’s so hard to accept that it happened and that i can’t just forget it and pretend it never happened. i hate how it has ruined everything for me and i hate that i didn’t even get a choice. idk. it’s really hard to have bpd and know the root cause of it lol.