trauma sideblog, yandere, bpd, depressed asf
The thing they don't tell you about processing trauma is that shit doesn't stay processed. Instead you gotta process all that shit all over again the next time. It's like living in a ramshackle house that you can only fix long enough to able to live in it. Sometimes the issues get easier or the repair sticks for a longer time. Sometimes the duct tape doesn't hold. We just gotta do what we can to make the best of it.
Note to self: Sometimes people are just rejecting (or abandoning) a situation or conversation topic, not my very existence. It only feels so deeply personal because it's triggering my abandonment wounds.
I look at others and I feel so sad for myself. I’m just existing. And they are living. They are able to move on and get ahead in life but all I do is stay stuck in the past and suffer
“I am tired of being told I am loved and cared about but never made to feel that way.”
— your actions and words never match
im not supposed to have relationships im not supposed to love or be loved im supposed to just push down this loneliness until it kills me
