trauma sideblog, yandere, bpd, depressed asf
your trauma is valid even if you can’t remember it clearly or at all.
your trauma is valid even if you doubt it sometimes.
your trauma is valid even if other people denied it was happening.
*depersonalizing and derealizing so severely and consistently that I legitimately feel high- and not in a nice way- sometimes*
Well this totally won’t end poorly
is there anyone else who has accepted that their parent is emotionally abusive, but like somehow been completely unable to remember ANY of the shit they'd ever said to you when you try to open up to someone???
I’ve spent most of my life with these people
But they have no idea who I truly am
Hey, dudes, remember!
If a certain person makes you feel like you'll never ne good enough, that's a good call to stop giving a shit about their opinion!!
The truth is, I am heartily sick of this life and of the nineteenth century in general.
Edgar Allan Poe - “some words with a mummy”, 1845.
I wish I even meant half as much to you as you do to me
I would do ANYTHING for you
is it really so much to ask for someone to love my broken ass? i’m so sick of being single and giving all of my love to someone who doesn’t want it and will never reciprocate. I just want someone to love me the way I love others. I just want someone to care about me. I want someone to listen to me and hold me and make me feel less alone. I want someone to remind me i’m not a burden when my brain tells me I am. I want to give someone love and have them accept it and appreciate it and appreciate me and fall in love with me the way I fall in love with them. I want someone to stay up late with me and listen to my midnight thoughts. I want to tell someone about my hopes and dreams and not have them judge me for it. I want to dance around the kitchen at 3 am in the light of the refrigerator. I want someone to lay in a field with me and watch the stars and name them after each other. I want to go on picnics. I want to hold hands and go on long walks. I want to take spontaneous weekend trips. I want to go to build a bear and make each other stuffed animals with our voices saying “I love you”. I want someone to kiss me on the forehead when i’m not expecting it. I want to fall asleep entangled in someone. I want matching rings or bracelets or necklaces or something of the like. I want to write poetry about how much I love someone. and trust them enough to share it with them. I want to develop inside jokes that only we could understand. I want to sing love songs together. I want to do art projects together. I want to dress up nice and go out and sing karaoke. I want to watch sunsets with someone. I want to dream about forever. I want a love that lasts. I want a safe person. I want to binge watch tv shows under a blanket and share a bag of popcorn. I want to go to parks and swing on the swings and see who can go higher. I want to have ice cream while we walk on the pier. I want to climb trees and hang in them away from everybody else. I want to go on dates to dinner and a movie. I want to open myself up to someone who’s able and willing to handle me. I want someone I can come home to after a long day. I want to debate meaningless things like throw pillows and decorative lighting choices. I want to go to concerts and festivals and carnivals and laugh. I want to watch sunrises and sunsets. I want to go all out decorating for holidays. I want to have a person who feels like home.
But i’m not worth any of that, am I?
