You said you never wanted to hurt me, but you hurt me the most
i truly just wanna end it all, nothing ever gets better. everything just gets worse for me. hannah baker truly was a drama queen, i’m still here after like 208 reasons.
i’m sitting here and i’m just thinking like has anyone actually ever liked me? i feel like people just use me for a period of time until they find someone way better and then i just get left. i don’t think anyone feels excited to talk to me or i’m anyone’s first choice, i’m just the background character in everyone’s life
BPD is like
one step forward -
one thousand steps back, onto a trapdoor, falling into the abyss, wishing for the end, not being able to reach help, regretting that you ever learned to walk in the first place, hitting your head, laying on muddy ground till you start sinking, forever guilty, slowly crawling back up again
- just to make one exhausting step forward and one thousands steps back again.
bpd also means:
needing a fp
- someone you are dependent on (cause you can’t live on your own)
- someone you just need confirmation from
- their criticism (even valid) destroys you instantly and completely
- someone you admire and/or hate with all your heart (yeah, splitting)
- someone you have no healthy distance to
- they can be a relative, friend, partner or what the fuck
- they know you differently, deeper - it‘s why they have That power over you
- some can trap you in abusive relationships, others may stabilize you
- it‘s complicated
- you don’t wanna need them, you just do