Anonymous asked:
As someone who is mentally ill, i never understood the "you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself" until i actually got in a relationship with my fp and started interpreting the phrase differently. even so, i still hate the use of it bc it's a very misleading statement that seems to imply that your ability to feel or experience love as an emotion is fundamentally hindered by your mental illness. i think this is bc the phrase is only really talking about someone's ability to maintain a stable/healthy romantic relationship, which i've found from my experience is a lot more difficult when i hate myself, due to the episodes that come with it. to that extent, i understand it, but at the same time, despite how hard it can be sometimes, i am still able to be in a stable, commited, healthy relationship with someone who is also mentally ill. so the over-generalisation and untrue implications of the statement leave a sour taste in my mouth
i relate to this a lot, i just hate the phrase because it’s always said to me after i’m like “i wish i had someone to care for” and people are like “wELL yoU haVe tO lOve yOuRseLf bEfoRe yoU LoVe sOmeoNe eLsE” like fuck off, i can be mentally unstable and give the most powerful love possible to someone. just because i have inner hatred for myself doesn’t mean i can’t have the most influential love on someone else. like fuck u and your stupid fucking ableist phrasing.
