i swear im normal if u ignore my extreme mood swings, my debilitating attachment issues, the heavy urge to self destruct and the never ending yearning to feel truly loved despite it all
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i’ve talked about this before but a bpd symptom i absolutely HATE is the lack of emotional permanence.
no matter how many loving people i have in my life, the second they are gone it’s like i was never loved and that it’s all in my imagination but as soon as they come back, it’s like i’ve never been sad
sorry i was so intense and crazy and said all those things about dying and not knowing what im going to do with my life and feeling as if everyone hates me and im going to die alone… do you still think im hot?
how i sleep knowing im lonelier than iβve ever been and i do it to myself by never texting anyone back or talking to them because im terrified
i love him so much,, i just wanna hold him n tell him how special he is n support him in all his dreams forever :/
sorry but imagine getting married to someone thinking ur gonna spend the rest of ur life together and then you divorce. im too sensitive for this life because that’s another level i am not willing to feel that kinda pain. like it’s one thing breaking up.. but a DIVORCE??? i can’t live a conventional life im too sensitive
the bpd paradox of craving love yet fearing the heartbreak that always comes with it
i push away the people i want the most in my life and i tell myself that it’s because i need to learn to live w/out attachments. but deep inside, all i want is for someone to resist my efforts at pushing them away and tell me i am worth holding on to even when i’m acting like a child
i’ve come to terms with the fact i have a super unhealthy view of love.. my bpd makes me believe that love is abuse, ptsd makes me believe that abuse is love and in turn that makes my vision of love a clusterfuck of obsession and manipulation.. i don’t know how to fix it but i want to
hugging skin - to - skin isn’t enough i need to crawl inside him and feel our hearts beating next to each other

