i’m a 10 but i disappear when i’m not ok
it’s fucked up how much hugs relax me, like, not in a good way, more of a “abused child who clings onto anyone so they won’t leave” way
i love your voice and your laugh a lot
i’m smiling but my heart feels empty
and after it all, it’s still you :/
i seriously can’t fucking live like this anymore, something needs to change
how the fuck do people live like this?? i seriously have a job i hate, bills to pay, extreme anxiety and suicidal thoughts constantly.. i just wish i could “live normally” it’s like i need a full time job but the part time one i have now is killing me slowly.. life fucking sucks.
wow i forgot why i don’t like having bpd. i forgot how demonizing i must be because of my diagnosis. i forgot that getting help is not enough because i will always be flawed due to having bpd. i forgot my bpd made me an instant red flag. i forgot having bpd = “automatic toxicity”
when someone asks if your bpd is biological or trauma induced but you got the best of both worlds :,)
i gotta kill myself this year i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to