nightmare in disguise

[nightmare in disguise]

i feel so much disgust and hatred for literally everything about myself. my body. not just about my weight, because even working out can’t change my hideous body structure. about how dumb i am, seeing everyone be able to do well in school and life while i’m just stupid and i can’t change it. i can’t increase my IQ because i’m a loser. i can’t do anything right and i’m so far behind all of my peers. i’m so unlovable, never loved by my family and forget lovers. all i’m capable of being is the side piece and lately not even good enough to be used for that. i hate myself so much right now that i’d rather die than live another minute of this pathetic life.

[nightmare in disguise]

i compare everyone to you and i hate it. fuck you for being so perfect

[nightmare in disguise]

it’s so fucked up how i could have the worst day of my life but just the thought of you makes everything okay. you aren’t in love with me and it’s the worst pain i’ve ever felt. i just want you to hold me and cover me in kisses. i just want your love. why won’t you love me. why can’t i ever be good enough for you? i would die for you. i would kill for you. i know i’ll be in love with you for forever and i fucking hate myself for it every single day. fuck you for doing this to me. fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

i hate you, my beloved

[nightmare in disguise]

some lowkey bpd songs that are very relatable

IFHY - Tyler the Creator

Honestly - Lil Peep

Toxic - Brittany Spears

I’m a Mess - Bebe Rexha

Pacify Her - Melanie Martinez

Michelle - Sir Chloe

SUCKER PUNCH - Doja Cat

[nightmare in disguise]

knowing that i’ve spent all of my childhood mentally ill and severely traumatized makes me want to off myself, i’ll never get back those years. i hate the people that traumatized me. i was supposed to be safe, i was only a kid. my life has never been mine and that’s what hurts more than anything.

[nightmare in disguise]

[trauma-ruined-deactivated202110]

if you have a cluster b disorder, reblog this with which disorder you have and your myers-briggs personality type, i’m tryna see something

[honeypleasejustkillme]

bpd and infp-t

[nightmare in disguise]

i’m so fucking tired of being the one that loves more. i know i’m fucked up and annoying but seriously, am i really that fucking unlovable :/

[nightmare in disguise]

i find the concept of death so peaceful. i long for the feeling of complete peace. no more suffering, no more pain, no more hurt, nothing. i find it beautiful how one day, i’ll be six feet under soil in eternal rest. in the spring, flowers will bloom from the remnants of my body, my bones will become one with the earth and my soul will be at rest. i long for the day i take my last breath.

[nightmare in disguise]

i don’t know how i still have my 3 friends.