i’m smiling but my heart feels empty
and after it all, it’s still you :/
i seriously can’t fucking live like this anymore, something needs to change
how the fuck do people live like this?? i seriously have a job i hate, bills to pay, extreme anxiety and suicidal thoughts constantly.. i just wish i could “live normally” it’s like i need a full time job but the part time one i have now is killing me slowly.. life fucking sucks.
wow i forgot why i don’t like having bpd. i forgot how demonizing i must be because of my diagnosis. i forgot that getting help is not enough because i will always be flawed due to having bpd. i forgot my bpd made me an instant red flag. i forgot having bpd = “automatic toxicity”
when someone asks if your bpd is biological or trauma induced but you got the best of both worlds :,)
i gotta kill myself this year i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to i have to
tell me in detail how much you need me, go in detail with those compliments i promise you, i’ll never leave you
i was not put on this earth to forgive and forget i was put here to be a hater :)
having a fp means your thought space is occupied with them 99% of the time and your emotions are at the mercy of the way they treat u 24/7, where even neutral expression feels like a rejection that can fling u into a full blown break down, questioning your own worth and whats wrong with you. it’s crazy how much having a fp can mentally and emotionally affect us