as a neurodivergent raised by an ableist family, no one talks about how you because super self aware once you become educated or diagnosed. and it’s disgusting because as much as i would never ever be ableist towards anyone; i have no problem being ableist towards myself.
i hate that i’m the type of person that shuts down and doesn’t talk to people for weeks sporadically but when someone does it to me i get so fucking angry, this is another reason why everyone leaves me because i’m literally such a hypocrite what the fuck
i really fucking wish i was the type of mentally ill that’s quiet, delicate, gentle, fragile, awkward and passive instead of being a horrible, loud and an annoying rage filled monster. society seems to be more accepting of the gentle and fragile people than cluster b and “aggressive” people
it was fucking pathetic
me, manic: life is beauty!! life is grace!!
me, bpd rage: i’m about to punch this bitch in the face -_-