what hurts the most about having bpd for me is how far im willing to go for others and i try so hard to understand everyone i come across in my life but it’s never reciprocated and if it is, not to the same degree and it makes me feel so fucking worthless, like i don’t matter enough
being a public vent account feels like emotional exhibitionism
pls i beg
i don’t know, life lacks color for me, im at the emptiest i’ve ever felt and i’m losing grips with the idea i have of myself, i feel lost, i am lost
as a person who can’t handle intimacy, is too terrified of rejection to be in a relationship, often completely cuts contact with people out of fear that they’ll get sick of me and who is a general fool with paranoia issues- i really do say “i want a partner” very fucking often
people say “don’t let other people consume you” but if i’m not living for myself then i’ve gotta let others consume me, they’re the only reason i’m here
“what do you want to be for halloween?”
me:
i need something warm, something that loves me to help me through nights like this when my mind can’t cling onto anything and i spin into panic
suicidal people deserve a space to talk about their suicidal feelings without risking hospitalization/institutionalization or being accused of being manipulative or attention seeking
:,)