living with bpd is like i literally cant do anything i should stop trying i am so incapable sensitive and useless im nothing nobody unworthy then it be like damn im the mf best i could literally do anything i wanted too i am invincible nothing could ever hurt me or stop me again
i only feel okay when i think about killing myself
i love realising how broken i am over and over again and feeling even worse which i didnt know was fucking possible
sometimes i think im not that sick then i remember ive learnt how to have silent internalised breakdowns everyday so i dont bother anyone bc no amount of reassurance would ever be enough to convince me anymore screaming crying and dying on the inside emotionless on the outside
please just love me back, i can’t take this pain anymore
living with bpd is like one second i believe you actually love me and want me here the next i believe you hate and resent me and wish i was gone i have no idea what is actually real my brain torments me
people really think they can manipulate someone who grew up in a narcissistic family day and night not only do i know exactly what u are trying to do i already predicted this happening because people like u are embarrassingly predictable at this point and i refuse to engage in your games
life has got me by the fucking throat and i’ve quit struggling
i’m sorry my darling, i say “you’re something else” because i can’t say “i love you” every time you say something that reminds me you’re the light of my life though i want to more than anything else in the world. i adore you, my beloved.
“ur so quiet” its so fucking loud in my head