when you have bpd and you don’t open up to those around you/keep things to yourself, you’re accused of pushing them away. so you try to open up more, tell them how you’re truly feeling, but because it’s so intense, you’re accused of manipulating them. can’t win
“tell me you’re mentally ill without telling me your mentally ill”
me:
the thing about bpd is that you experience trauma/heart break and the emotional intensity that comes along with it never dwindles or goes away. you revisit it 10 years later and it still feels the exact same. it’s like you heal but your heart never forgets
i think the worst part about having bpd is honestly ruining great and meaningful relationships just because you’re too afraid of them leaving cause they’re so good to you you wouldn’t even bare it
ive honestly ruined so many relationships just because i became so attached to the other person that the only thing that made sense was to leave them before they get sick of me and staying in horrible abusive relationships because ik that as long as theyre hurting me they wont leave so id rather endure that pain rather than seeing someone good to me leave
i genuinely hate the person that i am and for not being able to believe people when they say they love me and wont hurt me or leave me its just so great im so shitty towards people i dont deserve
i want to be with someone that actually gives a shit why i’m “quiet” and not someone who gets mad because i’m “acting different”
whenever he talks down on himself it makes me wanna just punch him because i can’t just be like “i’m in love with you bro, stop talking shit about yourself”
mood: i wanna see you
y’all ever get suicidal when u find out ur not ur fp’s favorite