what if he shows a pic of me to his friends and they say “as long as you’re happy bro” :,)
pushing others away as a test is a toxic coping mechanism i learned to challenge the love ppl in my life have for me. i’m so afraid of being abandoned, if i push them away and they go then its not as painful as if they randomly leave me. its like a controlled selffulfilling prophecy
i don’t fucking deserve them, and that knowledge alone breaks me in every way possible
is your comfort character also a sad, pretty boy with trauma and questionable morals or are you normal
me??? tired??? stressed??? exhausted??? i wanna cry??? yes
living with suicidal ideation is so demoralising. it’s always on your mind, your brain is constantly finding more creative ways in the world around you to end your life. suddenly everything seemingly mundane becomes a death trap
me:
my brain: you’re scared of losing people but no one is scared of losing you
how the fuck is everyone ok with how lonely adulthood is??? it makes me want to kill myself everyday
i never thought being in love could be so debilitating
the concept of fp is so hard to describe to someone without bpd