life is pretty depressing for me, and its not even just my brain or my circumstance, its just that there is no point to me, for me, i see colors,, i feel love, i feel pain, i feel empathy, sympathy, but while i stare at things i cant help this hollow feeling hovering over me, who cares
because of you i second guess absolutely everything about myself. you taught me to fear being wrong, you taught me judgment, you taught me hatred and bitterness, you taught me wrong. mother its hard to escape this box you kept me in, but from your abuse i’ve taught myself how to live despite it all
you’re the only one who understands me, the day you leave me is the day i will never be the same again. you are the reason i’m alive and the thought of you leaving one day kills me painfully and slowly like a sharp blade across my neck. i’m wishing you were here to hold me and protect me from myself.. but you’re sleeping, i can only imagine your beautiful still face and stubbled cheeks that i adore. god you’re beautiful darling, please let me show you the love you deserve someday. i just want to make you love yourself like i love you.
saying you use tumblr is like admitting you need therapy
not to be horny but i wish i never fucking existed
when u have bpd u get used to the feeling of always being unimportant to everyone but sometimes it just hurts so fucking bad like damn its actually not irrational thoughts its just the truth i wish i could base my worth on anything else instead of caring what people think so much
i wish success was measured on how much you slept and avoided social interactions, i wouldn’t be such a fucking loser if that were the case
bpd: dont ask for help you will just bother them again ur already an inconvenience they dont care they just feel sorry for you
me: u right
everyone either hates people with bpd or romanticizes them, i told some girl about my ex and how he was my first hardcore fp that i got extremely attached to and she was like “that’s so cute, i wish i had a fp” no, no you don’t. this man was someone i dated for two months and i was completely and utterly obsessed with him, despite the sa, the abuse, the gaslighting, the cheating, i still was in love with him. it took my current fp telling me all the wrong that happened for me to stop feeling that way for him. it’s not cute to have a favorite person for some people with bpd. i stayed in a toxic relationship because i thought what he was doing to me was love. it was abuse. please stop romanticizing and sexualizing something that people with bpd can’t control. some people like me have dark pasts when it comes to favorite people and it is rude when you say something like “aw that’s so cute” no it wasn’t. it’s not cute to be obsessed with someone who is toxic for you.
i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her i hate her
